You’ve just walked through the door after a twelve-hour day. You’re hoping for a “hey, babe” or even just a moment to breathe. Instead, you get a demand.
“Honey, did you get the milk?”
“What am I? A delivery driver?”, you mutter under your breath.
Instant tension. Your neck, your jaw, your chest. Possibly your fists.
And you think this tension is happening because of the milk question. Well, sort of …
It starts there. But you stay tense because you’re … tense.
Listen to this. I find this really interesting.
We think our brain is the boss of everything. But roughly 80% of the nerve fibers in our vagus nerve (the thing that communicates between your brain and body) are ‘sensory’. That means they send information TO the brain. NOT the other way around.
So, when your muscles are tense, they are telling your brain – we’re under attack. So, your brain assumes … we’re under attack.
Now, watch this.
How do you respond to your husband / wife without losing it and ending up sleeping on the couch?
You ‘Unclench’. You drop your shoulders on purpose. You definitely uncurl your fists. And you wiggle your jaw a bit.
And watch what happens. Your body tells your brain: It’s cool. Everything’s OK. And now you’ve got the ability to act like a human instead of a gorilla.
You have been led to believe that emotional intelligence is all about mental discipline.
But we believe that it’s as much about managing your body as it is about controlling your mind.
You’re tense all day. As a result, many of your reactions have some ‘abrasive’ qualities.
Wanna be more approachable?
Every hour, just drop your shoulders. And watch what a difference it makes to your reactions.
This is called proprioceptive feedback. Where your body tells your brain how to feel.
Try using this. It’s powerful. And everyone in your life will thank you.
LearnWell — Post 1 of 11